So, today is back to normal. School. Work. Normal. You know, being screamed at on a new level because you do not have the exact type of cereal requested, even though the one dishing out the relative bollocking picked the offending offering themselves. Even though you checked 14 times to make sure as you wanted to avoid this exact situation. Dragging small humans out of bed with just enough time to get dressed and out the door because all other attempts to wake them gently have gone ignored. You know. Normal. And I successfully got them out the door and to school on time. And as I walked past the other parents on the way to class, I wondered if they too had been presented with the same levels of fuckery that I had been. And if so, how they hell did they then find time to make an effort? I mean, the kids clothes? They might be clean. Maybe. Mine? Well, I'm pretty sure I wore this t-shirt to bed on Saturday and my washing machine hasn't made a noise since. Two children are safely delivered to their respective classes and I can breathe a sigh of relief & head home to coffee, potter and work.
It's a nice morning here, sunny & I allow myself to start to relax. This isn't so bad, everyone is where they need to be and things are being done. I fling the hoover around a bit half arsed but enough to get the majority of the breakfast that was lobbed my way & I figure the dog will get the rest later. I sit for a minute and it's quiet. So quiet. And then I notice the time and it's almost pick up for the smallest human but that's ok. They're normally in good sprits and they had a new toy to take in to show their friends today so all will be well. And there was my mistake. The assumption that my mellow would not be harshed. For what I was actually presented with was a small human who had apparently lost the ability to speak and could only do the single most annoying thing they can do {you know the one. Not talking, not crying, not screaming. Just THAT noise}. The child who until they had noticed me there, had looked like the happiest person in the world. I instantly wondered if I could get away with leaving the bundle of coat and hair which was now on the floor by my feet here for the rest of the day but figured as I was already here, it may be frowned upon. Instead, I smiled, thanked the teachers and took to my heels hoping that on the way to the car, we didn't pass any of those parents. You know the ones who have small humans who would never have a shit fit? A mix of that and that if we did, it would be before I joined in with the crying and arm flailing too. We get to the car, I bundle in a grunting, sweaty small human who was still making that noise. And we drive home. In relative silence which considering the last 7 minutes of my life is actually quite welcome.
We get home, I park up, small human gets out of the car without my help as if to press home just how pissed off they are that I do not have the 'treat' that it turns out had triggered this whole thing (that and the fact that almost zero sleep was had last night I imagine but I figured pointing that out wouldn't really help the situation). We unlock the door, go in the house and I ask if a cuddle would help. Apparently not. Not one bit in fact. So I take myself into the other room and leave them to it. A few minutes later, a small hand appears on the door, followed by a little sweaty face. I thought the cuddle I had previously offered was going to be called in but no. Instead 'Have we got any wraps?' And just like that, it turns out that a flat bread product can be just the thing to bring you all back to a level playing field because thankfully, I did indeed have wraps. So I'll take that parenting win and go with it. And I am now using these tools to assist me with the rest of the day because quite honestly, I can not be fucked to deal with anything like that again today. And sometimes, that's ok!
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